


Sentenced

by Mother_North



Series: Tainted love [2]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Complicated Relationships, Dysfunctional Relationships, Emotional, Face Slapping, Heavy Angst, Jealousy, M/M, Minor Violence, Obsessive Behavior, POV First Person, Psychological Drama, Rough Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-05
Updated: 2020-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:15:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23027668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mother_North/pseuds/Mother_North
Summary: I never thought we would get this far, Javi.
Relationships: Javier Fernández/Yuzuru Hanyu
Series: Tainted love [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1654807
Comments: 12
Kudos: 57





	Sentenced

**Author's Note:**

> The fic serves as a continuation of “Obsessed with you” storyline. It adds Yuzuru’s perspective this time.
> 
> RPF disclaimer: this is a work of fiction and it is not meant to offend anyone. It is a product of author’s imagination only. All thoughts, actions and emotions described below have nothing to do with reality.

**POV Yuzuru**

I would have never thought that I’d be longing for the touch of your hands so badly… Your lips with their everlasting taste of bitter coffee. Closing my eyes, I can still see your face vividly – every thin wrinkle and a stubborn line between your brows. It seems absurd, I know! But I even miss your stubble that I used to find extremely irritating; the exciting burn of it, as it is grazing against the delicate skin of my inner thighs to leave a subtle red in its wake, next to the purple marks of your hungry lips.

Kisses-bites to sink straight into my heart. You got under my skin, you penetrated my whole being. You taught me that _giving_ is no less rewarding than _taking_.

I remember you. You are branded in my consciousness: your stupid glasses, ever threatening to slide down the bridge of your nose, the scent of your skin – harsh musk with a tint of my own sweet vanilla – two central notes of our bodies colliding and mixing into an incomparable aroma as we were getting close.

You used to be insatiable. Always.

I loved teasing you. I loved seeing your hands shake from the intensity of your desire, as you were dying to finally touch me. I liked to postpone the moment of us becoming one till the very end, so that I could drown in the darkest shining of your lust-blown pupils. I saw my own reflection in them, as if in a false mirror, distorted by the power of your need – a fallen angel at the mercy of his tormentor.

My fingers were clinging to the hard surface of the table desperately, lips painfully bitten, as you were thrusting into me – _in and in and in_ – trying to make me truly remember that I belong to you alone with each cell of my body, with each cry and inhale, with each bead of sweat and a scratch of short nails.

Your fingerprints were all over my body, your sperm warm inside of me… This way I felt alive.

Once, as I was lying on your naked chest, utterly spent and exhausted (a blissful hollowness dancing within me) after our round of feverish lovemaking, you sighed contentedly and asked:

“That guy in the bar…You know who I am talking about… I saw the way he was looking at you and he nodded to you in greeting. You do know him, right?”

_Again._ Your voice was quiet and distinctly laced with unhealthy jealousy.

“Just not now…Javi, please…”

I remember wanting to smack you on the forehead for spoiling the precious moment of our intimacy, wanting to kiss you senseless so that you would shut up immediately, forgetting your stupid insinuations, so that all thoughts would disappear from your head.

“Why are you silent, Yuzu? You don’t even try to deny anything! Who is he?! What’s his name?! Why was he staring at you like _that_?!”

Your voice raised dangerously high and I was already going to answer that it was only _Michael_ – the harmless _Michael_ , who possessed the gullibility of an open person and a toothy disarming grin; the same _Michael_ , who used to go to IT lectures with me last year and had never managed to obtain my phone number, no matter how hard he tried to.

“Stop…please…”

But I bit my tongue instead, as any excuses suddenly seemed too humiliating, everything inside me starting to boil slowly, fueled by destructive hurt.

“Stop it, Javi! Your suspicions are crazy! They are absurd! He’s not my type,” I joked in a vague attempt to discharge the suffocating atmosphere of a brewing storm, the tension in the air palpable and ready to be cut with a knife.

“Really?! He is tall and broad-shouldered and bulky! He could lift you with one hand! He _fucked_ you with his very eyes in front of everyone – shameless and obscene! It was written all over his face! I bet he didn’t mind grabbing you by the wrist and dragging you to the nearest bunko booth immediately, to bend you over there in half and fuck hard! You would let him, wouldn’t you?!”

The harsh sound of a slap dissects the silence, hot tears stinging my eyes. Your angry face is blurring into a white formless stain under my unfocused gaze.

“Go to hell!” I shout, unable to hold back any longer, swept by irritation.

_I am fed up._

The salty taste of tears on my own lips returns me back to reality. My face is a cold emotionless porcelain mask, tear-streaked and immovable.

If I only had a couple of minutes more, I would have left, but you didn’t let me get out of the bed – pinning me into the sheets with the weight of your body, grabbing my frail wrists into your vice-like grip. You tried to kiss me, your perched lips searching mine with a frightening ferociousness but I managed to turn away. My dark hair spilled over the whiteness of the pillow, as I was thrashing violently in a one more attempt to get away.

“Don’t you want _it_?! Only half an hour ago you were spreading your legs so willingly, just like a good little _whore_ that you are! _They_ want you and you like it! You get high on the feeling, aroused beyond comprehension by a surge of power, don’t you, Yuzu? C’mon, tell me! Admit it! How many of _them_ have you taken into your fine tight hole…How many have been in _here_?!”

I sense your middle finger penetrating me brutally. I was still open after our sex but my inner walls spasm, closing in, as my whole body goes rigid at once.

You snarl predatory, my resistance only arousing you further, your eyes glinting darkly. I scratch your neck, sharp nails digging into your skin, piercing it and coaxing a hiss of pain from you through gritted teeth.

“Nobody will love you like I do, Yuzu,” you growl straight into my ear before claiming my mouth in a bruising kiss.

You are devouring me, merciless.

I am taken over by a weird mix of raw need and stinging humiliation. I want to shove you away, I want to make you get even closer; I want to trap you inside the hot clench of my body, you becoming my sole prisoner.

_An executioner or a victim..?_

Your cheek burns beneath my hand – a one more hard slap across your face. Your answer doesn’t take long, as I sense a distinct taste of copper filling my mouth, my split lip quivering slightly, swelling up.

_I never thought we would get this far, Javi._

You turn me over to lie on my stomach, your fingers digging into my protruding hipbones. And the next moment you bury yourself inside, sliding in to the hilt, breaching me agonizingly slow with your throbbing length, inch by inch. I can’t bite back a sharp cry and your moan of pleasure echoes in my ringing ears.

Vicious ecstasy is licking at my insides, twisting at the pit of my stomach, overwhelming and uncontrollable, as I shudder all over. I can’t think straight, being fucked into oblivion by the punishing thrusts of your muscular hips; my mind obliterated and will crushed.

I am biting down into the pillow, trying my best not to scream.

You come swiftly, pulsing hotly inside of me after several deep thrusts.

“Only mine…”

Then three of your fingers slide in, making me groan brokenly. You crook them knowingly, reaching my sweet spot, as I am arching my back helplessly, cursing under my breath. I am starting to move, impaling myself shamelessly, seeking the intoxicating delight – oversensitive to the point of pain, yet desperately needing more. I hear your smug little laughter but I am already past the point of caring. Your greedy lips are covering sweaty skin of my back with open-mouthed kisses, tongue tracing a small dimple at the base of my spine, before moving in between my butt cheeks – licking into, sucking, drinking your own essence inside…

I nearly pass out as I reach a shattering climax, shuddering and spasming, tears streaming down my flushed cheeks. _I cease to exist._ Nothing matters at the moment, except for your hoarse voice, as you are whispering dirty praises against my heated skin…

“Godly…No one will take you away from me, my boy… _No-fucking-one_!”

I am lying completely still, face buried in a pillow and afraid to move. I am dreading to look you in the eye, unable to withstand the things I might see – contempt, scorn, superiority… _profound_ _remorse_?

You are breathing hard while I am trying to unlearn how to breathe.

Twisted game of inaction is dragging on and on, as minutes seem like hours.

Finally, I turn to face you, a heavy sigh dying at my lips. Then you hit yourself hard, an ugly red mark appearing at your sharp cheekbone from the impact of the blow. My guts are knotting from the sheer intensity of your penetrating gaze, the begging in it making me shiver involuntarily.

_Why does it hurt so bad..? Why does it feel so good..?_

I stare into ceiling with unseeing eyes, sprawled against the sweat-drenched bedsheets. Your wounded expression is imprinted in my mind and I can’t summon enough willpower to push your searching hands and eager lips away. You are showering my dainty feet and ankles with reverent kisses, silently asking for a penance.

Your badly shaking hands are touching me with utmost care now, as if I am made of precious crystal glass, as if I am a mere vision, fabricated by your lust-induced brain, conceived in the depths of your delirious imagination.

_Your most favourite doll, crippled and torn._

“Forgive me…forgive me…forgive me…Yuzu…Yuzu…”

Your meekly spoken words that burn a hole inside my chest, where my heart once was.

~

As I am putting my clothes back on with numb fingers, you don’t try to make me stay. Perhaps you simply can’t believe that I am really leaving. You can’t accept a simple thought that I am capable of walking away from you, that I am aiming to severe the invisible thread between us.

I can’t swear that I am capable of it either. I still don’t know whether I need oxygen without you, space without you, time without you, eternity without you…

But I want to give myself a chance to find out.

A click of a closed door is like a bullet in the head.

Yet I don’t feel a long-awaited liberation.

The thing is I am sentenced. For the term of life.

I get my answer in six months though.

The thread of my fatal attraction towards you is pulling tight again, igniting a fire within with a newly-awakened force, as I am whispering your name into a telephone receiver:

“Javi…”

~


End file.
